I've been working on a new creative project. A great deal of energy and enthusiasm being spent. Plenty of productive time making new things. Bouncing my ideas from others in the coaching group. But every time I attempt a whole new journey of creating, I have found myself becoming angry.
How come this happen? Precisely what is this anger about? What's going on?
My mentor and that i were discussing this. She wondered aloud this thought: "It appears like the tender spots are where you stand angry"... yeah. Very tender. The anger is telling me something.
Finding that it is hard to keep a job using anger around, I wanted to find a way to work "through" or "around" the anger. So, I distract myself with painting, stories, dancing... something creative, but more mundane as well as a bit mindless. This creative energy frees my thoughts to ensure that I can "trick" my anger into thinking I'm busy to things.
Once i do that I refer to it as "spinning". Spinning reminds me from the stories from the spinning wheel where I'm able to get busy creating (just like the wool about the wheel). This paves the way to metaphor and takes me from my have to "control" a task.
Once i began drawing this image... of an spinning wheel... I figured of "turning straw to gold". I had been reminded again from the story of Rumpelstilskin. You understand, normally the one... the millers daughter, the daddy says "she can spin straw into gold" to the king... along with the king really wants to see this... and if she cannot, she's going to be placed to death... ? Then, an odd little man appears. He tells her he can spin straw into gold... but it'll show up at a cost to her.
I ran across the storyline and browse several versions than it. It resonated with me at night. However, as I usually do, Cleaning it once a to logically "organize" the storyplot. This caused me to get more frustrated, as I was not seeing or feeling what this story was attempting to tell me.
And so i returned to my "dream capture" work. I just read the storyline as if it were a goal I'd had. Then, I did the following:
Listed out all the characters
Listed the "key words" within the story that resonated beside me
Re-read each word and wrote what that word meat in my opinion in my current situation
After which... I began to see exactly what the story was telling me. Here is what I discovered
The small man (Rumplestilskin)=anger/creative fire/naming
The miller's daughter=rest/creativity/giving
Spnning wheel=creating/spinning/asking for help
The baby=creation (project, artwork... )
While these "characters" has an independent role, Every one of the characters create one "psyche" for me. Most of us have of such qualities within us.
In order to make something, it will require much energy... and far rest can be needed. We have to give of ourselves and order help.
In the long run, a baby comes into the world and we'll not give it up. It's our "creation" and we're amazed at that which you have made. Also, what it takes to acquire there.
What did I learn?
Until this story resonates beside me. Also, this story will repeat itself time and again as I always create, rest, people for assistance and handle a task. Although Rumpelstilskin stomps himself in the ground at the conclusion of the tale, that little man will likely be back... and next time, I'll know his name.
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